Mr. Nobody

Some will hold him up to ridicule, while others may be moved to tears by the following letter from Democratic National Convention Delegate Marvin Wells, newly selected of Washington state.

Mr. Wells, as you will see, writes the English imperfect; he has no advanced degree; despite a life spent turning lemon pips into lemon orchards he has never attained membership in the Creative (Writing) Class; and to his further shame he is, “when Obama is in the same race”, a Hillary delegate.

Barack Obama Meets America: A Play In One Sad Act.

Barack Obama Meets America: A Play In One Sad Act.

A Special Guest Post by madamab
Originally produced at Oooh, nuance!

THE SCENE: Senator Barack Obama and America are seated in a large auditorium. Obama is sitting on the stage in a folding chair. A door in the back is marked “THIS WAY TO HILLARY CLINTON’S PLACE.” Another door reads “VOTE FOR JOHN MCCAIN.”]

AMERICA: Welcome, Senator Obama! We are soooooo ready to elect a Democrat this year, and we loved, loved, LOVED your speech at the Democratic National Convention in 2004. You are such an eloquent and intelligent guy…and your charisma is amazing! We are looking so forward to getting to know you better!

OBAMA (smiling): That was a wonderful welcome! Thank you, America!

AMERICA: No, thank YOU. We have some great candidates this year, and you’re one of them! So, tell us. Why should we elect you President of the United States?

OBAMA (standing up and pacing): Aren’t you tired of the same old Washington politics? Well, so am I. I’m not really a politician – I’m something new and different! I will unify all Americans so that we can work together to make our country a better place. We will finally get out of this partisan gridlock that has been preventing us from moving forward. Just believe in me and we can make it happen together! Yes, we can!

AMERICA: Oooh! That was really inspirational! [Iowa faints and Obama throws her a water bottle he just happens to have with him.] Okay, so tell us: How are you going to accomplish this?

OBAMA (smiling): Hey, don’t worry about that. All my policy proposals are on my website. You can tell I’m smart, right? I was the editor of the Harvard Law Review! Trust me, I know what I’m doing. I was right about Iraq, wasn’t I? And remember that Hillary voted for the AUMF. The Iraq war wouldn’t have happened without her!

[OBAMA’S CHAIR TURNS INTO A THRONE.]

[AMERICA mutters a bit. New Hampshire gets up and walks toward the CLINTON door.]

Punish Everyone, an Open Thread

Speaking ONLY for myself:

I believe that Obama is unelectable. I believe that the Wright, Ayers & Dohrn relationships are campaign killers. I believe that Obama’s relationships with those Wild-Talking/Acting-Media-Hogs-On-Video-Tape are a huge liability. I believe they would be a huge liability to ANY candidate. McCain is already talking about these relationships in his speeches so this is not just speculation:

McCain, however, drew a sharp distinction between Ayers and Coburn, arguing that Obama’s analogy highlighted how the Illinois Democrat holds values that are far from mainstream. Obama’s relationship with Ayers, McCain told Stephanopoulos, “is open to question…. Because if you’re going to associate and have as a friend and serve on a board and have a guy kick off your campaign that says he’s unrepentant, that he wished [he] bombed more — and then, the worst thing of all, that, I think, really indicates Senator Obama’s attitude, is he had the incredible statement that he compared Mr. Ayers, an unrepentant terrorist, with Senator Tom Coburn, Senator Coburn, a physician who goes to Oklahoma on the weekends and brings babies into life — comparing those two — I mean, that’s not — that’s an attitude, frankly, that certainly isn’t in keeping with the overall attitude.”

There’s more: Obama’s barely held a full-time job. This is a huge issue for the man who would be running one of the biggest organizations in the world. Who would guide him as he learns his way around? How do we know if he has the stamina for the relentless responsibilities? Already we hear that he’s tired.

So, like a lot of people, I’m not planning to vote for Obama. I’m not planning to vote for him but, I am not voting for McCain either. I’m not letting Obama force me into voting for a man and a party I find repugnant. I’ve never voted for a Republican and never will.

If we aren’t voting for Obama, we should at least consider not voting for down-ticket Democrats. They need to understand that supporting an unelectable candidate like Obama will put their careers at risk. That some of us are considering other options:

1. Staying home
2. Voting Republican

Think about how scary THAT could be if we denied our votes to all the Democrats if Obama leads the ticket. If we did that could we make a difference this summer?

(swearing about the situation) Why can’t we just choose Hillary?

Tuesday: He doesn’t need us

He doesn’t need Ohio and Florida. No, he doesn’t need us.

He can do fine with some pretentious liberals. Pretentious liberals are all he needs.

And mountain west libertarians.

Yes, he can do without Appalachia. All he needs is Pretentious liberals and mountain west libertarians.

And some young college people.

But that’s it! He doesn’t need any ex-Clinton people or old people or gays. All he needs is Pretentious liberals and mountain west libertarians and some young college people.

And former moderate Republicans with money. That’s all he needs.

He doesn’t need working class people. All he needs is Pretentious Liberals, mountain west libertarians, some young college people and moderate Republicans with money.

And all of the African-Americans.

And he doesn’t need women. No, he can do fine without us. All he needs is Pretentious Liberals, mountain west libertarians, some young college people, moderate Republicans with money and African Americans.

And Evangelicals. But that’s all he needs! He doesn’t need anything else.

What do you think he is?! Some kind of jerk or something?!