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The PUMA un-Party is born

So, the so-called “Old Coalition” is just so five minutes ago, eh?

Not so fast, guys. We are forming our own party. We are the PUMAs. Meaning Party Unity My Ass. (h/t SM for the title)

Oh, and Chris Van Hollen should stop expecting Hillary Clinton to do all of Obama’s heavy lifting for him. It is not her job to unify the party for him. It’s time he did his own work for a change.

She can urge, cajole and campaign for him. We will follow our consciences. And as voters no longer affiliated with the Democratic Party, we feel no obligation to support it’s nominee. So, don’t even bother with the Unity shtick, DNC members. Frankly, we don’t give a damn.

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Ladies and gentlemen, you are looking fine today!

We should actually thank the RBC for yesterday’s ruling. It just dawned on me that we are the hottest voters on the damn planet. Yes, indeed. EVERYONE wants us now.

The DNC is going to try to push us around like some bad soon-to-be-ex-boyfriend. But secretly, they’re insecure and desperate for us to stay with them. Expect them to vacillate between violent threats and sweet talking. They want make up sex in the worst way and will probably do it badly. There is no orgasm in it for you, Clintonistas, but that doesn’t mean they won’t try. Just don’t return their phone calls. Get a restraining order. Change your address.

The GOP will see us as the prizes that we are. Yeah, they’re a bunch of jerks too. McCain will ply us with roses and champagne. They’ll want to “listen” to us. Lend us a shoulder to cry on. But they’re rotten to the core and we know it. As long as the sex is good, sleep with them all you want. But use protection and don’t commit to anything.

Hey, enjoy the single life. Life is pretty good right about now. We’re sitting on top of a goldmine.

Oh, and it still is the Map, not the Math. Here are the latest Monte Carlo simulations from Hominid Views:

Clinton vs McCain: She wins 100% of the time.

Obama vs McCain: Some days he’s up, some days he’s down. Today, he beats McCain but just barely. (I guarantee that will change after Saturday)

“The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves”

Tsk-tsk, this little tantrum from Meteor Blades at the Big Orange Cheeto does not sound very “unifying”:

I’m no fan of third parties because history shows only one making the leap to even the lower rungs of national power. But I can at least understand voters who jump ship to a third party based on principle and symbolism and hope for a breakthrough in a direction amicable to their beliefs. You McCainocrats, on the other hand, are incomprehensible. Is the idea that voting for another four years of rightwing Republican rule would be worth it as long as you could say: “See? We told you Obama couldn’t win.” Does the McCainocrat lunacy embrace the idea that four more years of a Republican in the White House would make Clinton a shoo-in for 2012?

If that’s what your telling me, if you’re willing to force the American people to suffer for your chance to say nah-nah-nah, I’ll have two words for you when you come around looking for my support for any candidate or any cause in 2012 or any other time in the future: Bite me.

No, I am not providing a link.

Isn’t it delightful? I am actually quite encouraged by this. We have something they are positively desperate to get- OUR VOTES. They thought we would just blissfully acquiesce like we have every four years. We would just hand them over with a whip and say, “I clearly deserve to be beaten for withholding my initial support. Please accept my apologies. Leave marks this time so I never forget.”

Not this time. For the record, our opposition has nothing to do with race on our side. Race is the obsession of the DNC and the Obama supporters. No, this has everything to do with the party power players taking direction from a small core while offending the people they need to actually win: women, elderly, working class, hispanics, gays. What does Meteor Blades think we’ve been doing for the past eight years? Basking in our privileged status under oppressive Republican rule? Does he think we aren’t aware of the mess the GOP has made of the country?

We are all too aware. That is why we DON’T want Obama. And Meteor Blades offensive little attacks on us are not going to get us to hand over our votes for him Get it through your head, MB, we are NOT voting for him unless he is Hillary’s VP. If that makes you mad, tough $%#^. If you are so desperate for a Democrat in the White House, you still have a choice. We are not culpable for your choices and we are under no obligation to indulge your irresponsible fantasy.  We will not reward bad behavior and poor decision making.

Our votes are not the property of the DNC or Meteor Blades. They are OURS. We give them to whomever we want. So, if you want our votes for a Democrat, I suggest you drop the “bite me” crap and start Kissing Our Asses.

Sunday: Stop Digging

I am watching C-Span this morning with Mitchell Ceasar, DNC Executive Board Member and Uncommitted Superdelegate.

Mitch is the typical glassy eyed DNC-bot. “We’re all going to be unified. Everyone will come together in the end. McCain is sooo much worse than Obama. People will realize this in the end. Their really completely exchangeable with one another. No, I haven’t said who I will endorse. But we have to move on to the general election against McCain. So, I will make a decision on Tuesday. Supreme court, Blah, blah, blah.” In other words, Mitch is a sweetie.

Frankly, I am at a loss as to how to get through to these morons. Now, Martha Fuller Clark, an Obama supporter from the RBC is on, admitting that the committee hashed it all out in private so their dirty laundry wouldn’t be aired in front of the world. So much for letting the whole country see everything. Martha Fuller Clark reminds me of the Ministry of Magic’s Dolores Umbrage, a party apparachik, determined to quash dissent in the most vicious way possible, only thinly disguised by soft, sweet voice and frolicking kitty plates. What I wouldn’t give right now for a herd of pissed off centaurs.

BTW, If you would like to contact Ms. Fuller Clark, you can send her a Thank You card to the address below:

Contact Information:

Senate Office:
State House
107 N. Main St., Room 106
Concord, N.H. 03301
(603) 271-6933
martha.fullerclark@leg.state.nh.us

Office:
147 Middle St.
Portsmouth, N.H. 03801-4306
(603) 436-2464

Ok, they are clearly not paying any attention. They are going to shove Obama down our throat for our own good, sort of cod liver oil without a spoonful of sugar.

I will say this for sure though. If we keep hearing “unity” without any effort to really, like, you know, “unify”, McCain’s redecoration of the Oval Office will be all but assured.

We know why the RBC did what they did. They have completely disgraced themselves. The DNC lost. They are in a hole for November. If they don’t want it to be a total blowout for McCain, it would behoove them to stop digging.

One other thing: It is pretty clear to me that the way the DNC intends to wrap this up on Tuesday is to scream “UNITY!!” until everyone falls into line. Like I said, it is the WMD directed at one candidate and her supporters. If we resist the pre-ordained outcome, we are opposed to UNITY and want the party to lose in the fall. We have to come up with an effective meme in the next couple of days that will put a stop to this crap and give the DNC and Obamaphiles a wedgie they will never forget. I like, “You want unity? Well, I’m not a party member anymore. I’m an independent. I don’t need to ‘Unify’. So, you’d better start kissing my ass” but that’s just me. In any case, Hillary represents more people that Obama does at this particular time and she should not cede a nanometer in the interest of UNITY. At this point, UNITY is an artificial concept that has no solid foundation underneath it. A pronouncement by the RBC or the presumptuous nominee does not make it official. We are not UNIFIED. They’d better start working for it.

One MORE more thing: People, protect yourself. There is going to be some intense psychological warfare headed our way. Expect the UNITY haka to get really nauseating. But it won’t work if we don’t let it. We will be much more powerful and effective if we stick together and close our ears to it. Follow our simple action plan:

1.) Reregister as an independent or unaffiliated. You can’t be coerced to come together in the party if you are no longer a member of it. Remember, YOU have something THEY are desperate to get their hands on- your vote. Guard it jealously. Do not give it to them. Make them earn it.

2.) Shut off the media except for unfiltered sources such as CSPAN. Go outside, go to the shore, plant your tomatoes, meet your neighbors, get involved in some trashy mini-series, have more sex, learn Indian cooking, take Tango lessons, have a life. Leave CNN and the talking heads to talk amongst themselves. Tell all of your friends to do the same. When the ad revenue starts to dry up, the corporate media might start to change. Don’t count on it but it’s possible.

3.) Let Hillary know she still has your support no matter how far she wants to take it. Tell her that you know she is the best candidate and you stand on her side in solidarity. Your resolve will never waiver. Send her money if you have it.

Finally, here is our dear Mawm who along with garychapelhill were credentialed guest bloggers for us yesterday:

Unfortunately, some votes are worth more than others and apparently, imaginary voters in Michigan are worth more than the voters that actually turned up to vote. So, you *could* say that they counted every vote. Even the ones who registered as Republicans in MI to vote for Romney. See, they got their votes counted twice! That cancels out the votes that were only worth 1/2. It’s new math squared to the 10th power all divided by zero. In other words, a better way to count votes does not exist. I hope that clears it up.

The friends who support him

There is no question that Obama is by far one of the best backroom politicians we’ll ever live to see. From the early caucuses through yesterday’s meeting he knows how to position himself so that a compromise gets him more than any reasonable person could expect. Certainly yesterday’s session of the DNC Rules & Bylaws committee was brilliantly managed by Team Obama.

(Thinking: How hard is it to manage 30 people when you have the votes in the first place?)

The day’s outcome was telegraphed right at the beginning with Howard Dean’s instructions to the group:

As you work to find a resolution, I ask that you keep three key principles in mind to guide your discussion and deliberation:

— Respect the voters of Florida and Michigan — not only those who turned out to vote, but also those who did not,

— Respect our two candidates and their campaigns who followed the rules this body set forward over two years ago, and,

— Respect the 48 states who did not violate the rules.

Understandably, the compromise that you discuss here today will not make anyone completely satisfied.

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