Well, it looks like Obama made like a banana and split PA for Indiana. Gee, was it something I said? Meanwhile, the bitter cling to their guns and can stop praying he leaves. This calls for a party. After all, it looks like Clinton is going to breeze to the finish line in PA with a comfortable win. How big is anyone’s guess but a win is a win. And after being outspent by something like 3:1, you have to wonder why the frontrunner is, um, having so much trouble winning the biggest, most Democratic states. It’s counterintuitive, isn’t it? If he’s the hot spit Democratic nominee to be, shouldn’t he carry at least one Big Democratic state other than Illinois? How about a single swing state? Huh. I guess he’s not such a BMOC after all.
Welcome to the Clinton Cocktail Party. This is the time of day when we put away our poison keyboards and lift a glass to each other. To the left of the doot is Rico, our bartender with flair. He’s been chomping at the bit for several weeks now and had to take on other jobs tending bar at the Fraternal Order of Internal Hydraulic Technicians parties. But plumbers aren’t nearly as snarky as we are and there were all those bathroom jokes. It gets old. Tonight, he is featuring a Pittsburgh Sunrise as the Cocktail du jour, but you can order anything your like.
Tonight’s featured music is provided by jazz musician, George Benson, also from my home town. This tune, Breezin’, sounds light and mellow. Let’s breeze to the finish line.
This is an open party. Obamaphiles are welcome here too. So, everyone be on your best behavior or check your trigger words with Florence, our lovely checkroom attendant. The waiters will be circulating with some homemade pirogies with onions and sour cream, hot sausage bites, dilly beans and mini Philly cheeseteaks. Please drink responsibly and tip your wait staff generously.
Party on!
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