So, the Texas primary system is screwed up and stupid because of the idiotic caucus system. And it is true that Hillary loses caucuses. Before we tackle the issue of how we can never let this happen again and how Howard Dean needs to be strapped down and have his armpit hairs pulled out with tweezers (I’m not into torture but Dean can’t go unpunished for this), we have to figure out how Clinton can win the Texas caucus.
Now, what is the Obama camp has been doing to win their caucuses? Well, from what I’ve read, they flood the damn things with thousands of rowdy, intimidating Obamaphiles while the Clintonistas watch in stunned disbelief. What we have here is a Haka. A Haka is a Maori wardance, usually performed by men (figures) to scare and intimidate the enemy. The dancers do a lot of chest pounding and screaming and making truly scary faces complete with bulging eyes and sticking out their tongues. But just like the online world, they aren’t going to hurt you. It’s just to make you feel like they are the most dangerous people on the planet. So what if they scream at you, jostle you or make nasty faces?
So, what Hillary needs is a haka. Someone, I HOPE someone, is coordinating efforts to turn out the caucus haka for Clinton. If Obama can do it, Clinton can do it. Some suggestions:
- Create Clinton Haka parties for the caucus using the DFA-Link tools.
- Make T-shirts. Nothing says solidarity better than warrior colors.
- Create a chant. Learn some polynesian and some chest pounding, spear shaking hand movements.
- Use the blogosphere to whip up a frenzy.
- Comb the universities and other places for women to learn the haka and go up against the Obamaphiles.
I’m perfectly serious about this. Most of this caucus crap has been a psychological game. Now it’s down to “Obama is going to win the causcuses, woe is me, Clinton will lose Texas” This is bull. The maoris didn’t train their warriors in the haka for nothing. It’s a mindset and anyone can be taught to be fierce. Make it an event that people will remember for years to come.
Let’s turn *this*:
into *this*:
Filed under: Blogosphere, Presidential Election 2008 | Tagged: caucus, haka, Texas |
The Confluence 
Heck YA that is what she needs!!!
WOOHOO! That would shock ANYone into shape! 😉
Love the idea! It’s time for Hillary to get TOUGH on her competition. He’s had it too easy.
Hey, check out this site about the Haka. It even shows how to do it.
Could have used some of this goodness at the WA state caususes. I think all those rich upper middle class Obamacrats would have peed themselves.
“A Haka is a Maori wardance, usually performed by men (figures) ”
Although I’m impressed that you looked up that a haka is a Maori war dance, you’re mistaken that it’s “usually” performed by men. It’s men only, it’s forbidden for woman to participate. Check out how much grief the Spice Girls got for doing one.
I have to say, Ann, as a New Zealander (and being part-Maori) I disagree. Woman perform haka and in fact, those who were proficient at bearing weapons used to flank the men in some of the old war haka. As far as I know, the Spice Girls got flak for doing it because they failed to understand the cultural significance of it.