The Americans Who Pay Attention Leadership Council met recently to discuss how the President should deal with the Republicans and have concluded that there’s no pleasing those people.
“It’s a trend we have noticed for some time now”, a senior official of the leadership council says, “Republicans seem to get off on yanking our chains. We think it’s a consequence of the way the country developed over 300 years. The two distinct cultures that developed in the north and south were incompatible, probably shouldn’t have been stuck together to begin with and the Union hasn’t been as successful as anticipated. But it’s too late to fix it now.”
When asked what the main sticking point seems to be, the council says it has to do with the comfort level that Republicans and their followers have with exploitation of other human beings.
“We have seen a progressive decline in living standards since Americans decided to let the Republicans have their way. We have noticed that Republicans are particularly good at throwing fits, playing the victim, blaming other people for their bad behavior and generally acting like poorly disciplined adolescents. Before you know it, they’re going to be out partying all night, totalling the family car and knocking up their girlfriends.”, the senior official said.
“It’s important for the president and the other party to stop acting like negligent and permissive parents. What feels good to the Republicans is probably not good for America. It’s time for the White House to stop listening to the friends of Republicans who keep telling it to give the Republicans another chance or they’ll jump off a bridge. They need to be grounded, not going through some squishy therapy session where we’re all supposed to get along. Unfortunately, the president is behaving like he’s living vicariously through Republicans so this could be a problem.”
The Leadership Council reiterated it’s observation that an increase in cable news ratings was inversely proportional to American living standards and recommends a low cable diet.