So, I’m listening to this book, 14, on my iphone while I’m multitasking.  It got rave reviews and the premise sounded interesting.  An ensemble cast of characters living in a creepy old apartment building discover that there’s more to the building than they previously thought.  Like, they’re not connected to the power grid and yet, all utilities are included, with plenty of electricity to spare for the socket in the kitchen that just gives off black light no matter what bulb is screwed into it.

Anyway, I’m more than halfway through this sucker and so far, nothing is happening.  Maybe I’m expecting too much but I thought someone would lose an eye or die by now. And there’s no sex in this book.  C’mon now, you put half a dozen young nubile 20 somethings in the same building and nothing happens?  There’s hardly even a hint of mutual attraction.  What’s wrong with this generation anyway?  Nope, they’re all prowling around in the sub-sub-basement looking for clues.  Clues to what, I don’t know.  They should all be grateful that the rent is so low and the views of the Hollywood sign and Griffith Park Observatory are so spectacular.

Has anyone read this yet?  How far do I need to skip ahead before some real action takes place?

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26 Responses

  1. The amazon reviews are mostly positive with no spoilers. I agree that there should be some good stuff in the early pages. Even if the action slows down a little after that — don’t we all want to know what sort of book we’re reading?

    I got the sample version of 50 Shades of Grey which is I guess the first chapter. And there was NOTHING GOOD at all in it. So, I don’t know what all the fuss is about there either.

  2. {{laughing so hard I can barely breathe}}
    Did you read the review of chapter 8 where Christian turns Ana into a pirate? So damn funny.

    • Not yet — I’m still on chapter 1 — I got pulled away to play with the dogs. But, I’m back now, baby!

      • OMG, I just keep thinking about that chapter in Naked by Sedaris where he and his sisters passed around a book of cheap erotica and it was full of spelling mistakes like, “Feck me harder!” and “Glisten my tots”.

        • (giggling) Feck me? … Why does that make me think of Laugh In?

          • This Ana person is another one of that generation that seems to have lost the art of getting laid. Where did we go wrong? It appears that we have failed to pass down the ancient knowledge.

    • Drug fueled lunacy indeed, and then I thought, the author made a mistake in not including a parrot.

  3. My eyes are bleeding. I have to stop. Does chapter 8 have any good stuff?

    • You didn’t get to the pirate part??
      Wait, are you reading the book or Sweaters’ review of the book? The reviews are better I think.

      • Sweater’s Reviews — but I guess I’ll have to skip to Chapter 8 after my eyes heal.

        • Yes, just skip to chapter 8. It’s all dogeared and sticky.

          • Exactly. Now just imagine one of them wearing an eye patch.

            Is it true that women all over the country love this book?? It’s the end of civilization, I swear. All we need is a bunch of guys thinking they act like total assholes because they think we want it that way.

          • Also, do women think WE should act like her? If it’s any comfort, I don’t think that many men are reading these books.

          • Oh gosh, I hope not. But never underestimate the power of literature to help justify people doing what they wanted to do anyway.
            The male character seems to have some very wall street-esque personality traits. I dunno, maybe this is really one big extended metaphor for the nation’s relationship with the bankers. It’s like bad sex but we’re too naive to know there’s anything better.
            Most men who are not bankers probably think Christian talks too much and uses too much energy in pursuit of this ditzy girl. I think the vast majority of men prefer low hanging fruit. Christian turns it into a sport..

  4. If I ever write a novel, I want it to be edited by Jennifer .Armincourt.

  5. Getting back to 14 — they don’t have it at my library. So I’ll wait ’till you get a little farther with it before I actually buy it for myself.

  6. C’mon now, you put half a dozen young nubile 20 somethings in the same building and nothing happens?

    You’ll find out in the end that they’re all Scientologists ;-).

  7. If creepy apartment building stories appeal to you, RD, you should rent the 1970′s movie, “The Sentinel.”
    Believe me, you won’t complain about a lack of action.

    • Saw it, read the book. The movie wasn’t as good as the book.
      Anyway, I think i’m giving up on this one. It’s taking too long for anything to happen and I skipped ahead a bit. It sounds like there’s a Sleestak type creature hiding in the basement. There, I’ve spoiled it for everyone. Now you don’t have to read it.
      Back to 1Q84, which I put aside for unknown reasons. Murukami wasn’t moving quickly enough either but in his case, you shouldn’t expect anything of consequence to happen for several hundred pages.

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